27. Mai 2011

I'm so drained...

from mourning and at the same time preparing the town meeting. We went to the funeral yesterday with our children it was extremely exhausting it took very long and there had been so many people (200 - 400?). I can't sleep and stop thinking since last thursday. When i come to think about how close i had been to loose my son Luis and i could have been widow be now twice, i start to tremble. And always at the same place!
It is a very, very dangerous road. We stopped walking our dog and children there two years ago, we take our car for every single errand, we bought bicycles for all of us and now we never use them. Even in our own garden we are not save. We can't bear any longer to live constantly in fear.
If i can not change something this time we sell our house and move elsewhere.
But the best part is, i got a call yesterday (!) from a neighbour who accused me of stirring the things up! I'm  incitive and they don't think we have a problem here. Really, if i could, i would leave this place instantly. I have a lot of work myself, i have two little children, i'm definitely overworked as it is but i take the time to collect signatures, all the writing and printing of proclamations is time consuming. Apart from this i bear the costs. Sometimes i just want to give up! Like last time... And then, at the other hand, i have to remind me that i have already a lot of support and signatures. It's so hard to fight! It would be so easy to lock up this experience into the back of my head, put on my rose-tinted spectacles, built a very high and solid wall around my house and lock me inside with my family...


  1. I just read over the last few posts to catch up. How very, very sad and tragic that this little boy died. I hope your negotiations with your council make your world a safer place.

  2. Thank you! I'm working on your piece, i have a lot of delay, but i want it to be "perfect" ;-)